One of the most common frustrations we hear from managers and leaders is this: “My employees come to me for every decision — it’s like they can’t do anything without my input.” Yet when we ask those same leaders how they typically respond when employees bring them issues or questions, we quickly assess that it’s the leader’s own behavior that needs to change first before expecting different behavior from their employees.
Here’s the truth we share with them every time: If you want independent, competent employees, you need to teach them how to align their thinking, decision-making, and problem-solving approach with yours, rather than just telling them what to do.
Too many leaders and managers fall into the “hero” trap. They love being the one with the answers, the fixer, the person everyone relies on. This feels good — it feeds a sense of purpose and reinforces their value. But over time, it builds a team that is overly dependent, hesitant, and reluctant to take initiative. Ironically, these same managers often complain that they are overwhelmed, frustrated by their team’s lack of autonomy, and tired of firefighting.
The good news is this is an easy fix — but it takes self-awareness and discipline.
First, as a manager you must look honestly at your own behavior. Ask yourself: Why do I keep stepping in? Why do I default to giving answers rather than helping people think through the problem themselves? Sometimes it’s faster, sometimes it feels safer, and sometimes it simply boosts your ego. But every time you step in, you send an unintended message to your employees: “You can’t handle this without me.”
Second, commit to changing your approach. The next time an employee brings you an issue or question, pause before jumping in to solve it.
Instead, ask them:
- “What do you think we should do here?”
- “What is your thinking about this so far?”
- “What are your thoughts on how to deal with this situation?”
This simple shift flips the dynamic. It invites the employee to think, analyze, and explain their reasoning. As a manager, your role then becomes to listen carefully — not just to their answer, but to their thought process. What of their thought process is on target? Where are the gaps in their thinking this through? Where might they be missing a risk, opportunity, or nuance that is important for them to consider before moving forward?
When you understand their thinking, you can coach more effectively. Instead of just correcting their answer, help them see what else they need to consider. For example, you might say: “I like that you’re thinking about X, but have you also considered Y?” or “What would change if you looked at this from the client’s perspective?”
Over time, this practice builds your employees’ confidence, decision-making ability, and judgment. You will notice they come to you less often — not because they don’t value your input, but because they feel equipped to handle challenges on their own.
A slight caveat – there may be times where you want to give your input on a situation or be involved in decision making. Be sure to let your employees know when you want to be brought in for input before a decision is made or given an FYI about a situation they handled. Most important, consider the decisions only you make and let your employees know what those are.
Teaching people how to align their thinking with the way you approach problems and decisions takes more upfront effort, but the long-term payoff is enormous: a team that is stronger, more resilient, and far less dependent on you for every answer.
Give it a try. Let us know if we can help.
