Active Listening requires a disciplined effort to silence all that internal conversation while we are attempting to listen to another human being.

(The Servant: A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership, by James C. Hunter) 

The skill of active listening requires a disciplined effort. What does that mean? Active listening is just that —- active.  It means being fully present to another individual as they speak. By fully present we don’t just mean physically present but emotionally and mentally present as well.  It’s not easy to do this, especially when there are so many distractions tugging at us. Our internal conversations rob us of the ability to communicate a message to our prospects, clients, and co-workers that we are truly interested in them and value what they have to say. How active is your internal talk? The more you are able to gain control of it, the more successful you’ll be in being fully present to an individual.

The first step in being fully present is to become aware of how active your internal talk is when in front of another individual. Notice when the internal talk is planning what you are going to say, thinking about the consequences of your next statement, focused on another project or task, judging the other person, or worried about something. When does your internal talk rev up? What triggers internal talk? Raising your level of awareness is the first step to change.

The second step is to actively work on dropping the talk when interacting with another person. Develop a strategy for releasing your internal talk. Some people imagine a container where they place their thoughts for future access while others find that just naming the talk helps to drop it in the moment. Whatever strategy you develop, practice it over and over until it becomes a habit.

Be present through active listening to yourself and others this week.  Reap the rewards of being truly connected to yourself and others!