The relationships you have are vital to success in the workplace. Especially for leaders and managers, it is critical that we look at the quality and effectiveness of our relationships with others. 

Our awareness of our personalities is key to understanding ourselves, and, of course, we all have blindspots, which are those parts that are hidden from our consciousness. If you know the Enneagram’s three centers of intelligence (Head, Heart, and Body), you might know that each center has some common patterns which are worth exploring so you don’t get blindsided by your blindspots. Take a look and see if any of these are operating in your relationships.



(Enneagram types 5, 6, 7)

  • We think others think like we do or should just “get it.”
  • We make assumptions about someone’s intent before talking to them.
  • We make assumptions or judgments before getting all the information or having a conversation with the individual.
  • We don’t seek to understand another person’s intention or thinking; we have “transactions” with them rather than interactions.
  • We filter in information that fits with our worldview and filter out what doesn’t, which makes it difficult to fully “hear” and “remember” what others say.  


(Enneagram types 2, 3, 4)

  • We are uncomfortable with expressing our emotions and either project our emotions onto others or discount others’ emotions as being “too emotional.”
  • We avoid, discount, or overlook cues being sent by others that they are upset/hurt, unmotivated, unfulfilled, or on the verge of burnout. 
  • We overvalue or undervalue vulnerability in relationships.
  • We over empathize and lose ourselves or under empathize and lose the other.


(Enneagram Types 8, 9, 1)

  • We either don’t pay attention to our physical reactions and the wisdom they hold during interactions or we react automatically without thinking it through.
  • We lack awareness of when and how we are impacting others. We pass it off as nothing “Nothing to see here, folks! Let’s move along.”
  • We discount others’ gut instinct knowing; most often we don’t even ask, “What does your gut tell you to do in this situation?”  
  • We are unaware of how power and control are playing out in our relationships.

We’d really love your feedback here. Please let us know what you agree with, what you would add, what would you change. As always, you are the expert on you.

You can reach us at or give us a call.

Mary Anne Wampler