Yesterday I, Theresa, felt inadequate, inexperienced and unsure of myself. Ever have a day like that? My daughter, Kathy, and I signed up for golf lessons and yesterday we had our first lesson. It’s been 5 years since I’ve played and so, while I remembered the basics, I was reminded that every time I take a swing, nothing is guaranteed, especially, whether I’ll hit the ball or miss it totally. When I did hit the ball fairly well, I felt relieved that I didn’t embarrass myself that much; when I totally missed the ball on the fairway, not once but twice, I had a twinge of embarrassment but reminded myself that I was the one who wanted to take golf lessons! What made this experience bearable — actually fun — was that Eddie, the teacher, didn’t point out what I did wrong, rather, he remarked, each time, on what I did right and then he’d say “the next time, try it this way.” So he combined positive reinforcement with behavior modification suggestions and I walked away feeling like I had had fun and learned quite a bit.
I can’t help but think about the feedback we get from employees when we interview them about working at a company or with a specific manager. It’s not uncommon to hear that most of the interactions managers have with them are focused on what they didn’t do, or did wrong, or where they made mistakes. As managers, we’re often so busy that our attention gets riveted on what’s not working rather than on what is.
This week see if you can start off your conversations with your team members, employees and, even family members, with saying something that they did well or how you appreciate their effort and then, give them the feedback on how they can improve. The more specific you can be about what they can do differently to improve, the easier it is for them to try it. If Eddie hadn’t told me exactly where to place my feet, which leg to put my weight on and how to shift my weight as I took the swing, the third stroke on that fairway could very well have been a miss but instead, it went up on the green not too far away from the tee. If, at age 54, I can be taught new tricks, so can anyone who is approached in the right way!
