I had about five things I needed to complete this week and I found myself diverting my attention to everything but the things I needed to get done. I noticed that, at first, my inner critic was saying “you teach this stuff, you shouldn’t have trouble getting focused?”, and then, I found myself asking “what’s the next action I need to take?” and I’d do that and again, find myself diverted onto something else. Ever have one of those days?
What I found that day, after a needed pause, was my “inner no.” As I stopped what I was doing, I checked in with my head, heart and body to see what was going on. The head was scattered, the heart was lacking connection to my work, and a quick scan of my body revealed that the right side of my body was clenched, tight and almost felt like dead weight. I recognized it instantly thinking “this is what it feels like to say no.” I’ve been told I can be stubborn, dug into my position and unmovable but this was the first time I actually felt it in me.
Coincidentally, I had listened to a talk by Tara Brach where she did a short meditation on exploring the inner experience of reactivity, finding the “inner no” and then, finding the “inner yes” even if that meant saying “yes” to what you were resisting. So I did just that … I said “yes” to my resistance to doing the things I needed to get done for a few moments and then I felt a little release as if the unmovable was shifting, and guess what happened? I got into action and finished what I needed to do in record time.
I’m reminded of the phrase “what we resist, persists.” In finding my “inner no” I said “yes” to it and by doing that I got back on track.
This week notice when you are resisting something. Take time to pause for a bit, check in with you head, heart and body and if you find your “inner no”, say “yes” to it, let it be there for a few minutes and then see what happens …. Let me know if you have the same experience I did.
By Theresa Gale
