“Learning cannot be separated from performance because learning leaders have to make sure they are solving the right problems.”
Martin Lowery, Sr. V.P. Sony Pictures Entertainment
This quote is so true. For over 18 years, we have been working with CEOs, Business Owners, Executives and Sales Professional and while we have done our share of training events, the most impactful learning has been while doing one-on-one coaching. The best coaching sessions are those when a “real” situation has just happened. That’s where “real” change can happen!
Last week I had a great example of this. Tom is a Department Manager who reports to Peter, a V.P. Tom and Peter were recently on a job site and it got ugly. The job was a high profile project and so there was a lot of pressure on Tom and his team to deliver. Tom, who had been dealing with the sales person on the job for over 3 months, had asked Peter several times to get involved because the sales person was promising things that Tom felt were not able to be delivered and he had had several interactions with the sales person that left Tom feeling as if he was being set up to fail. After the first request, Peter went to the sales person (without Tom) and had a conversation with him. He told Tom “things were good.” Tom kept Peter in the loop during the preparation for the project and asked him again to get involved but he didn’t. The day on site at the job Peter was critical of Tom and was pushing his team to deliver what the sales person had promised the client.
When Tom and I spoke, he was upset and angry. He said “I repeatedly asked Peter for help and he didn’t listen to me that this was going to be a problem.” I asked “what help did you ask of him?” Tom said “I wanted him to have my back; to vouch for the team and our efforts and to tell the sales person what we would and would not do, since the sales person obviously didn’t listen to or respect me.” I asked “Did you tell Peter that?” He said “No. I just figured he knew what I wanted.”
This began our deep dive into Tom’s method of communicating with Peter, his expectations that often go unspoken and his behaviors that result when he doesn’t feel as if he is “heard.” After we identified ways he could be more specific with his requests and communication with Peter, we talked about ways he could have worked more effectively with the sales person so that Tom shows up differently the next time and doesn’t retreat and look to Peter to “fix” it the next time. Last, we talked about scheduling a call with Peter to debrief the situation so that Tom could share with Peter what he has learned from the situation and that he and Peter could agree on new behaviors that both would commit to doing so that this type of situation doesn’t happen again. The subsequent call with Tom and Peter was an important step – Tom had to come clean to Peter about his unspoken expectations and feelings about not being heard; Peter had an opportunity to define more clearly his expectations of Tom and admitted that he ignored Tom’s requests because he thought Tom was just being stubborn and not wanting to do what the sales person requested. Both left the call committed to avoiding communication triangles, being specific when making requests and checking in with each other as to “how “we” are doing” more frequently.
Coaching sessions are not for everyone but for those who really want to grow, develop and change, they are the most effective way to accelerate change and results. If you want to increase your effectiveness with others, get better results, and accelerate your learning, don’t look for any coach, look to the coaches that know what they are doing and are getting results for their clients….call Transform, Inc.
