Recently, I read a Forbes article where I noticed the term “Attention Management,” and I loved it. Imagine the magnificence of being able to manage our attention. The article stated that by the late afternoon, we have typically only been present for a whopping total of 14 minutes. A full day of work and 14 minutes of presence over the course of the day. Let that sink in. 14 whole minutes of presence. Certainly, with my expanded consciousness, I can make 20 minutes a day. Tee-hee! Seriously, I believe we could all be more fulfilled and productive if we could increase our ability to be present a bit.
Personally, I find it difficult to stay with one thing. When distractions are calling out my name, my attention immediately slips away. A client called me. Theresa is working on something, and I want to make sure she has my input. The dogs are barking. I need to check in on this and that and the other. Random things are on my mind, and I want them to go away, so if I do them now, I won’t need to think about them anymore. And the project at hand goes on the pile of things I still need to do.
On the other hand, I also know people who zone in on a task and zone out everything and everyone else; they miss things that come up out of the blue and need to be attended to. Then there are days when I’m working in “flow” and time slips away, yet I couldn’t tell if I was actually “present.”
We all want to be present, don’t we? Being present is so fundamental to happiness and success. So how do we know if we are actually present?
The first step is to realize where our attention is at any given time.
You’ll often hear me ask, “Where are you now?” What I’m really asking is, “Where is your attention?” I learned that question from Helen Palmer, my original Enneagram teacher. During her meditations, she would keep refocusing us from wherever our attention had wandered back to our breath. We would sit for what seemed like hours—although it wasn’t—practicing the skill of coming back to the moment, back to our breath, then coming back again. (Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield’s meditations and training have also been great teachers for me. Check them out.)
I liken training my attention to training a puppy–you practice over and over again until one day, sit means sit. A short pause and a quick question of “where are you now” can lead to a higher state of awareness and a choice of where you want your attention to be. Years of this, and still, I need more practice. A moment to simply pause and pay attention to our breath is so powerful, but often not easy to remember. Three quick practices—Pause, Breathe, Notice—help us develop our inner observer, that neutral part of ourselves where we can look at everything with interest, instead of judgment.
This allows us to take a witnessing stance that is free of judging, comparing, and overthinking. We’ll have more choice about how we react, more clarity about life and work situations, more time to empathize with ourselves and others. It’s a very expansive place to be. Join me in practicing. Let me know where you find your moments of presence.
Mary Anne Wampler
Principal, Transform, Inc.